Warning: this post may offend people who like cute little furry guinea pigs.

A few days ago, I wrote a post about chicha morada, the amazing Peruvian blue corn drink. Thinking on it further, I am becoming increasingly convinced that Peru produces some of the best dishes in the world; with that in mind, I plan on writing a fair bit more about the wonders of lomo saltado, papas a la huancaina, and other treats. However, in the interests of total honesty, I also have to acknowledge the dark side of Peruvian cuisine, the surreal side, the side that dresses up guinea pigs in colorful costumes then roasts them with cheese.

The twisted tale of the Peruvian Guinea Pig Festival begins in a cute, whimsical way. In the small city of Huacho, located north of Lima, somebody came up with the bright idea of holding a regional carnival to honor the cuy, or guinea pig. Now in its third year, the event features contests for fattest, quickest, and best dressed cuy. People from the surrounding communities primp and preen their top animals, preparing them for the race and dressing them in the height of rodent fashion. It is not uncommon to see the animals dressed in bright silks and taffetas, sporting little hats and crowns, and generally looking like a cross between a fur mitten and the infant of Prague.

While the winners of the fastest and best dressed contests are spared from the final competition, the remainder of the cuy become fodder for the greatest test of all, a battle royale that pits woman against woman, village against village, and cuy against cuy: the fight for tastiest guinea pig. Amidst an orgy of stuffing, roasting, skewering and smoking, the women of Peru demonstrate their skill with one of the country's traditional delicacies.

You know what I love most about America? The way that we have a holiday for everything. And even when we run out of holidays, we just make up more holidays and continue using them as excuses to glut. And when it's a food holiday, we are officially permissed to double-gorge! So here's a heads-up for my favorite August food holidays -- y'know, so you can get your shopping done early and beat the mad holiday rush.

• August 1 - Raspberry Cream Pie Day: This shortcut Chilled Raspberry Cream Pie recipe from Rachael Ray can be whipped up in a jif. It'll be just like one of those No-Bake commercials when your friends and family are fawning over you for spending the day slaving over the stove while you're secretly sniggering to yourself, "Heh heh, it was no bake, you fools!"
• August 2 - Ice Cream Sandwich Day: Sure, you could wade through the freezer case, or you could man up and make your own. Consider these decadent peanut-butter-'n'-honey-flavored "Bee-Nut Butter Ice Cream Sandwiches" from Domestic Goddess.

The Grand Rapids Press has a list of several dozen beef, chicken vegetable and fish tips for your Independence Day bash. Try wrapping fish in prosciutto or bacon to prevent drying. And cook snapper and other delicate fish in foil or on a plank so it doesn't fall apart.

Hawaii's KGMB has a video of Tyler Florence making a grilled pork tenderloin for a big 4th of July cookout. He suggests stocking up at a wholesale club like Sam's to save when feeding a crowd.

BBQ.about.com has chicken, pork and beef brisket recipes, with ideas for kebabs, potato salads, ice tea, sangria, and something called 'flag fudge.'

Nashville's WSMV teaches you how to build a top notch grilling station, from grills to spatulas to thermometers to lighter fluid.

Kalyn's Kitchen has some cool 'think outside the burger' ideas special for the 4th: grilled shish kabobs with whole wheat pita and tzatziki, grilled salmon with maple syrup glaze, grilled chicken with tarragon mustard marinade, grilled tri-tip with salsa.

Epicurious has a bunch of burger ideas: Feta burgers with grilled red onions, jalapeno burgers, open face lamb burgers with mint yogurt sauce, buffalo burgers with pickled onions and smoky pepper sauce, sun-dried tomato burgers with balsamic-glazed onions, porcini-Gorgonzola burgers with veal demi-glace, tamarind-glazed turkey
burgers, sesame tuna burgers....

Also on Epicurious: A complete guide to grilling. Rubs and marinade recipes, technique tips, how to test for doneness, where to taste the best regional barbecue. With input from grill guru Steve Raichlen.

Martha Stewart has a very tasteful (naturally) Fourth of July menu. Check out the ribs.

Global Gourmet has another grilling guide. Check out its rundown of recipes from their favorite grilling cookbooks. Whoopi Goldberg's Big Bad Ass Beef Ribs, anyone?

Even vegetarians get in on the grilling action, at Vegetarians in Paradise, with recipes for Independence Day grilled tempeh steak, grilled veggie skewers, grilled red onions and grilled corn on the cob.

Philadelphia Magazine writer Jason Fagone spent one year profiling some of the most divinely outsized personalities in the world of competitive eating. While Akron house painter Coondog O'Karma makes a midlife grab at glory via rapid-fire pizza consumption, Bill "El Wingador" Simmons attempts to reclaim Wong Bowl supremacy from 90lb Sonya "Black Widow" Thomas, and day trader Tim Janus dons the mantle of the mysterious Eater X, it all comes down to one shared hunger. They all want to win the Mustard Yellow Belt of International Hot Dog Eating Supremacy back from the Japanese who'd dominated the Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog-Eating Contest nearly every year since 1997.

Back in July of 2001, that would mean beating the record of 25 1/8 set the previous year by Kazutoyo "The Rabbit" Arai.

That was before Takeru Kobayashi's 50 Dog Day.

Read an excerpt from Jason Fagone's Horsemen of the Esophagus on AOL Food

It's only July 3rd and my foodie forefathers have already dished out plenty of Independence Day eats in such posts as American Flag Cakes and Delicious Foods for July 4th. But let's be honest: There is no food or cake that can rival the great American tradition of getting rip-roaring drunk. Even Uncle Sam's cheeks wear a warm flush!

But tradition aside, I do not condone drinking to excess, so I have devised a list of patriotic cocktails that are too lovely to chug. In the words of the great George Washington as he crossed the Delaware: Take it slow, kids, take it slow.

1. Starfruit and Stripes Daiquiri - The fine folks at MaisonBisson came up with this capital idea: Take a traditional strawberry daiquiri, top it with whipped cream and blueberries, then garnish with a slice of starfruit. Ta da! Liquid flag!
2. Red, White and Blue Sangria - Punctuate some white sangria with blueberries and raspberries for that good ol' U.S. of A. color scheme.
3. Boston Pops Martini - This Massachusetts-made martini celebrates the famed Boston Pops' national independence day broadcast. The true fireworks begin with the rim that's dipped in - what else? - Pop Rocks!
4. Red, White and Blue Shot - Although there are a number of variations on this popular Fourth of July shooter, the key is a careful pour to ensure those colors don't run.
5. Patriotic Margarita - The arbiters of blue vodka put their hued booze to good use with this layered margarita: HPNOTIQ 'rita, topped with strawberry 'rita, dressed up with a coconut rim.
6. Red, White and Blue beers - According to the results of this poll, beer is the bev of choice for cookouts. So if you want to keep with the patriotic theme, stock up on PBR (in the unmistakable red, white, and blue can) or for something a bit classier, invest in an assortment of Chimay Red, Chimay White, and Chimay Blue.

If you are declaring an independence from alcohol, whip up one of these constitutions:

1. Patriotic Tea Punch - Try out this tart punch that boasts an iced tea base, pomegranate juice, and gobs of fresh fruit.
2. Bomb Pop Mocktail - This red, white, and blue pousse-cafe layers cranberry juice, blue Gatorade, and diet 7-up to mimic everyone's favorite patriotic popsicle.

Have a festive Fourth, everyone!

The 4th of July weekend is a time designed perfectly for picnics and cookouts. There's really no better way to celebrate the nation's independence than by firing up the grill and cooking up some burgers, dogs, chicken drumsticks or ribs. I personally don't have big plans to do much in the way of grilling (not having any outdoor space will do that to a person), I have been invited to a couple of picnics and will be throwing together a red potato salad with an olive oil and vinegar dressing, and a creamy coleslaw with purple and green cabbage.

I want to know what the rest of you are cooking this weekend. What's going on your grill, in your picnic baskets or out on the buffet? How do you handle vegetarian and gluten-intolerant guests? And most importantly, how are you ending the meal?

Every July 4th, I find myself at a barbecue eating the usual: a hamburger, a hot dog, some potato chips, guacamole, and a few beers. This year, I want to celebrate Independence Day the same way, but with the best condiments, drinks, and chips. Below are 8 delicious foods that are perfect for July 4rth:

1. Chips d'Allauch - What could be more patriotic than honoring the French who helped us fight the war of independence? These French potato chips are the best I have ever tried. They come from Provence and are made from golden yellow Bintje potatoes that are fried in peanut oil. They're only available at Formaggio Kitchen.
2. June Taylor tomato ketchup - The mixture of rich organic tomatoes, spices, and vinegar make this ketchup the ideal accompaniment with your burger, barbecued chicken, and hot dog. You can purchase it from June Taylor online.
   
3. Bar Harbor blueberry Ale - The Atlantic Brewing Company crafts this beer in Bar Harbor, Maine. Enjoy this creamy fruity American ale that has a blueberry aroma.
   
4. Vegeta's cranberry mango salsa: This zesty sweet and spicy salsa is sure to rock your palate this July 4rth! You can purchase it from Amazon.com.
   
5. Peter Luger Steakhouse old-fashioned steak sauce: This classic sauce for chicken and hamburgers is also great over fresh tomatoes.
6. Fentimans Victorian lemonade: I know this is not an American lemonade, but it's so good! This British refreshment is mildly sweet and acidic and will definitely cool you off.
   
7. Grafton three year cheddar: This American cheddar from Grafton, Vermont is great melted on your burger.
   
8. Heritage burgers: Heritage Foods sells grass-fed beef burgers on their website. They're a must try this July 4rth at your barbecue.
   

If you're entertaining this July 4rth, I highly suggest the foods above. What items will you be eating this Independence Day?

When I was a kid I was addicted to chocolate ice cream (side note: a lot of my posts start out talking about how I was addicted to some junk food when I was a kid - I'm amazed I don't weigh 350 lbs). But when I got older, my tastes changed from pure chocolate to other flavors, usually based in vanilla: chocolate chip ice cream, Heath Bar Crunch maybe some other flavors. Your taste buds must get more sophisticated as you get older.

Anyway, today is National Chocolate Ice Cream Day. Check out the recipe for a very decadent-looking chocolate ice cream at The Joy of Baking, and here's one from CD Kitchen that promises to be like Ben & Jerry's.

Yesterday was National Donut Day. This isn't a good week for people on a diet.

Sometimes I wonder how certain food holidays are created. They seem so specific. Is there an Applesauce Cake Council that demands a day of their own?

Oh, by the way, today is National Applesauce Cake Day! I've never had it, but it sounds quite good. I keep picturing something that is moist and chewy and wet and dry all at the same time. AOL Food actually has two recipes for it, one from The Joy of Cooking and the other from Woman's Day.

Some people spell it donut and some people spell it doughnut. However you spell it, today is the day to eat them.

Krispy Kreme is going to celebrate the day by giving away one free donut (it's only in participating stores so you'll have to ask if the store in your area is, you know, participating). Are you flying on Southwest Airlines today, out of Dallas' Love Field or airports in Tulsa, San Antonio, or Kansas City? They're giving away free donuts at those locations too. You are now free to move around the country if you can with donuts in your stomach.

I don't think Dunkin' Donuts is doing anything for the day, which is too bad. Unless Krispy Kremes are hot and fresh, they're not as good as Dunkin's.

(I've always wanted to try Stan's Doughnuts in L.A. Luckily they have a web site.)

"The incredible, edible egg!"

Younger readers might not remember that ad slogan, but the theme has been rattling around in my brain since I found out that today is National Egg Day. Treat yourself to a nice Eggs Benedict (which I bet is something you don't eat that often) or maybe visit IowaEgg.org for some great recipes ranging from omelets (I have my eye on this Apple, Cheddar, and Bacon one) to desserts. I used to have Fried Egg Sandwiches once a week when I was a kid. Topped with ketchup! Mmmmmmmmmm. I never put mustard on it like that recipe has, but that actually sounds pretty cool.

And don't forget that we have an egg category too.

I'm very picky about my Popsicles (always capitalize it, it's a brand name). There are flavors I love and flavors I hate, and it bugs me when I have to buy a box of mixed flavors and there's also a flavor in there I don't particularly care for. My favorites are grape and orange, and I can do without cherry, thank you, but those are the three flavors you get in a typical box. If someone at Popsicle could make a box filled with nothing buy grape and orange, I would appreciate it.

Today is National Grape Popsicle Day. Not sure what type of recipes I could list here, except this one: grab a grape Popsicle, take off the reader, and then eat it. If you know of any other recipes, let us know in the comments below.

(Oh, and if you try to eat an orange Popsicle or root beer or even a Fudgsicle, the frozen treats police will be at your door, so be careful.)

Cooking hot dogs on the grill today? Don't grab them with a fork to turn them over.

I always associate strawberries and cream with Wimbledon and July 4. Neither of those things are today, but it's National Strawberries and Cream Day anyway.

Not sure exactly what type of recipe to put here, since strawberries and cream is pretty much self-explanatory. But here's a variation on it, using Strawberry Schnapps. Here's another one that uses Grand Marnier. The Mayo Clinic has a recipe that uses fat-free sour cream.

In related news, yesterday was Pick Strawberries Day!

Years ago I went out with a girl whose mother was named Lorraine. I'm not sure if she ever made quiche or not, but I probably wouldn't have eaten it. If you recall, real men don't eat quiche.

Today is National Quiche Lorraine Day. Here's a classic recipe from Betty Crocker, and here's one from the great food blog Slashfood. Hey wait a minute, that's us!

If your name happens to be Lorraine, leave a comment below. And if you happen to be a quiche, also leave a comment.